so it is sooooooo boring here during the day! i could go swimming at the jcc, but that takes such effort. so my school is strange and my spring break is a week from today.. im excited to go home! if anybody is around, let me know!! we should chill :) i got a new cell phone number... just IM me and ill give it to you.

so im thinking about transfering schools.. im not loving this school and im not sure what i wanna do with my life anymore. (and THAT IS SOOO WEIRD to say because ive like always known i wanted to own a restaurant, but now i need to know what i wanna do before that.)
i was looking into penn state and osu....or goin home and goin to MC. If i go home and go to MC, do you think it;s like im giving up? I feel like that a little, but MC will be good for me, allow me to take normal classes until i know what i wanna do. I was thinking about being an English teacher. i think i would be good at that.

anyway.. i miss music. i feel like i dont get to hear new stuff that often anymore, plus i havent been to a concert in like forever. i cant wait for the summer. im gonna go to like every concert i can! PLUS my ipod broke :( that makes me sooo mad, cuz it has sooooooooooo much music on it, but hopefully its fixable. H2O Audio came out with a product to put an ipod in that you can clip to ur baithing suit and swim with it. i want it sooooooooo bad (if my ipod gets fixed). I also miss ingram;s room at wootton.. goin in and listening to people sing while she played the piano.. it was sooo nice. like live mini concerts everyday.

leave me some love!!!
~Linzy

and thanks to those people who gave me ideas for songs last time i posted. they helped :)

Can anybody think of recent music that is protesting war? if so let me know!! I NEED HELP!

hey i'm back!!! yay! so this city is getting better and better everyday.

My break was awesome... minus a few glitches. (about new years.... i'm not mad, just dissapointed... so gimme a call, we can talk :))

the autoshow... and partying... and beer pong... more to speak of later!

talk to you all later... SHOW SOME LOVE!

~LRR

so i was considering having an open party for new years.... if i do, anybody in??


to update: This break has been like one big party! i love it@!.... I wish i could see some people i haven;t in a while.. like Emily, who has been busy, or mike, who hasnt answered his phone, or annie, who;s number i dont have, or ben, whos number i also dont have and anna! who is feeling icky and i wish i could make her feel all better!!!. all in all.. I WANNA have a great time and great people make great times!!!


one complaint: I HATE pills!! adderall and stupid sleep pills and all the others!! no fun anymore. who wants to take them off my hands?lol!?!!!

have a great dayy!!!
~LRR

the last few days have been awesome

wild time with rach......... piercing and tattoo
party time with geri........ beer pong w/ brett and billy in my basement!
crazy time with sasha....... finding a new spot
quality time with family.... seeing my favorite show

what more could i ask for??


keep the good times rollin'

~LRR

So, you have to understand that in the last 3 months my mood.. on a scale of 1 to 10... has gone from a 3 to like a 9. I am truely happy and dare i say love life. My roomie and i are getting along, i have a great job, doing well in school and i'm able to look past the down falls of life at the moment. I wish i could share this great feeling. i wish you could know how i feel. how full of life i am. In the past i was different... giving off this terrible vibe. i tried too hard and cried too much. I probly made you feel uncomfortable. For this i am sorry. Sorry is a word i use too freely and too often, but for this i am honestly apologizing. I apologize for all the mean things i've said or done, for my stubburn attitude, for bringing you down. I'm not asking for anything except for understanding. I hope you can find that.



And smile, it'll make you feel good :)


~LRR

WOW! I love schoooll like woah!!! i miss people from home sooo much... but i love the new people i met!!! The city kinda sucks but the partying and clubbing is wicked fun. I made a new drinking budddy.. her name is anna and shes insane!!! i love her and all the people... well most of the people here... i hope everybody is havin fun at school. SMILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE JWU. today i have no classes because I have to dress up in "Business Attire" and meet people from hotels! I am soooo excited. I'm also feeling pretty happy right now, and thats always a good thing. Mom and dad and max and rachael are coming up tomorrow morning. im actually excited about that too!

so basically just an update to say im not as depressed as i sounded in my last entry.

Does this lack of sleep ever stop? I'm tired but can't sleep. It's at the point where my sleeping pills don't even work. Help Me.

Does this empty feeling inside me ever go away? I am surrounded by people, yet i feel alone. Am i doomed to lead a life filled with only the love that is expected from family? Save Me.

Does anybody have the balls to tell me whats wrong with me? There has to be something because i can't seem to find a single person who actually wants me around. Tell Me.

Does looks make the person? Am i an ugly person? If i were prettier, or thinner, or taller.. would people like me more. I can't see the good in me. Show Me.

Could you forget about me easily? I think so. I'm not unique. I dont have a special "thing". I'm not smart. I'm not crafty.

I'm creative, but does that matter?

I am depressed. i AM depressed. i am DEPRESSED.

I need to hide it, but i can't. I need to get rid of it, but i can't. I need to control it, but i can't.

I'm sorry.

~Linzy

summer is awesome.

I caant wait to go to school. im scared out of my mind, but sooo excited! not sure about the whole sorority thing, but my mom wants me to look into it, so i guess i will. I told my dad theres a head shop across the street from my dorm and its exciting and he STILL hasnt said anything about smoking!!! are my parents really that dumb?> I've been trying soooo hard to get caught without having to blow smoke in their faces! I know my mom smokes, why cant she tell me. brb.

just got home from a party.
byebyebaby
until next time.. be safe.
~LRR

So I'm getting a little better.. i still look funny and am in pain, but better. Sydney & Steve (krantz) came down last night. i love seeing them. Syd is really like a little sister and steve is sooo like a dad to me. i am so greatful to have people in my life like that.

i cant wait for school, im sorry everybody is all sad about leaving and their friends leaving, but this is isnt the end or anything like that. everybody will be back in december. so wipe away the tears and get ready for the ride of a lifetime.

hope all is well with everybody. smile.
~LRR

You would think after getting 9 holes put into my head and a fairly good sized tattoo on my back, I'd be able to handle a needle or a little blood. I CAN'T. I am such a wuss! When i have to go to the doctors to get blood taken, i scream and kick and then throw up sometimes and almost pass out (two times i actually did).

Monday morning i wake up and my ear hurts, pretty bad, and i cant hear to well out of it, so i go down to tell my dad and find out its bleeding a little. That TINY bit of blood freaked me out so bad i passed out. just right then and there, fainted.. and went knees down then face first into the wood floor. I busted my lip soo bad i had to get stitches.----and the reason my ear was bleeding is because i have an infection in the ear canal so i have to put ear drops in.

So know I'm sitting at home in soo much pain on sooo too many pills. i need some cheering up...


On a lighter note.... I'm not leaving until September 2nd... so if youre still around lets par-tay :)

~LRR

So i havent updated in a long time... I'm not even sure people even read this.. but whatever..... I'm at camp now. Im a lifeguard, which is soooo awesome! I've met soo many cool people from mostly the UK and from South Africa. I'm having a good time with them, but i have dumb 6th grade girls who are all individually cool, but together they are vicious problem child brats! They are driving me crazy! They are without a doubt the worst bunk here... problem wise i mean... but we get through it all one step at a time. but to just give a better view on how it is... the kids have been here 8 days and we've had to get the social workers to come up 3 times. I guess everybody has there issues, i just wish i didn;t have to be incharge of making sure they're fixed.

I'll stop bitching to just say... I AM SOOOO EXCITED FOR NEXT YEAR!!! WAHOOO!!!

I am sooo done. im leaving sunday and i guess you could say IM SOOO EXCITED but i feel like i should say goodbye to everybody now. I mean, i really wont see most people for a while. and i really like to say goodbye and be done with it. drawing it out makes me wanna cry. and i hate to let people see me cry even though there are alot of people that have. anyway. if u wanna say good bye, or do something before i go and your not leslie (cuz i deff. will be seeing her) call me so we can do somethin or i can just come say goodbye. in Anne's words "Hit me up" :) Oki.. much love.

~LRR

So out of all the people i thought were my close friends, its amazing how many "forgot" my birthday. Besides my family and the two people who share my birthday, Anna and Rachael were the only ones who wished me a happy birthday. It made me really happy to hear from them. And talking to billy made me really happy. I woke up and got a facial. They gave leah and me these robes that were sooo soft and comfy and same with these coool sandals. Then we went to the lazy river. I tried to swim against the current. NOT SO EASY. Then we went out to a sushi bar called Blu. they had really crazy types of sushi. oki.. ill talk more about my trip later.

whod a thought i would be. but i am. it really hit me yesterday. im soooo scared to go to school. i am scared to grow up. i wanna be little. i wanna be 7 or 8. i wanna schnuggle up with mommy and daddy and watch the little mermaid. i miss elementry school lunches. "what ever happened to my luchbox? when came the day that it got thrown away? and dont you think i should of had some say in that decision?"

Right now i feel alone. alone in the universe.

i miss the feeling of being wanted. and i miss it so bad it takes every bit of energy to not burst out in tears at the mere thought of it.

today is the first time i actually see myself being anti social. i know anna invited me, she even sent me a text messege again today. but i dont wanna be there. i dont know why. i just dont. im scared. i hate myself. i hurt so bad.

... atleast through the pain i know im still alive.

MAN SCREW HER. She thinks shes so god damn cool because shes a little actress and hangs out with "child actors". well fuck them too. I can't believe i was so blindsighted and she was just a bitch the whole time. I really thought we were best friends and no not at fucking all!!! and soooo fucking what if i hooked up with that dickhead. its not like i liked his at all. dumb ass stuck a toothbrush up his butt for a fucking dare. and then gets angry i said something! WHO DOES THAT???? especially people who need to stay out of the bad press. I have fucking pictures and he;d be in some shit if i were to give them to somebody. AND POINT BEING SHE HAD NO REASON TO GET MAD OVER HIM. and god damn bitch doesnt see that i flew across the country to see her and then she spends the entire time with people she could see everyday. AND she thinks im shallow enough to be her friend ONLY because shes an actress. well fuck that i dont care how famous she gets. shes barely a human being. no sense of reality. and im SORRY i got upset when you didnt want to come to my brothers bar mitzvah for no fucking reason.

AND WHY CAN I NOT SLEEP?????? FUCKING PILLS!!!!!!!!!!

AND WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME??? am i really a bad person? am i boring? am i bitch? i really wanna hear it from becky, because i know shes talked more shit about me than anyone.

AND WHY DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT ME ANYMORE. DID I DO SOMETHING? IS THERE A REASON YOU DROPPED OF THE FACE OF THE EARTH? ATLEAST YOU COULD TRY AND CALL OR SOMETHING OR ANYTHING. I MISS YOU. FUCK IT. I REALLYY REALLY MISS YOU, I STILL LOVE YOU.... and why is it at the same time i am sooooo angry at you.

AND WHY DID JUDY HAVE TO BE PSYCHO. I MISS MAT AND SYD AND BRYAN. AND I MISS JUDY. the old judy

AND WHY AM I SOOOO STUPID. I CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT!! AND I CANT JUDGE CHARACTER ANYMORE!!! even the people i thought were my good friends. they arent. what freind ignores your phone call when the people hes with tell him to.

AND WHY IS IT THE MORE I THROW-UP AND THE LESS I EAT AND THE MORE I EXERCISE THE FATTER I GET. i am sooooo sick of being fat. fuck this shit. and i am even more tired of getting sick. i cant go a mother fucking week with out throwing up it feels like,
i swear if anybody comments with the oh youre not fat blah blah SHUT THE FUCK UP cuz you are lieing out of your ass and i am also not saying this for your fucking complements. i am just angry right now so deal with it.

ALL THE SUDDEN WHAT I WRROTE WAS GONE! AHHH. DID I EVEN PRESS DELETE?

well n e ways afm rocks and alex needs to get naked. drummers should be naked... right? flea. travis. its the way it works,
i wanna sing in a band. itd be awesome. itd be cool to sing with a band of great musicians like alexs band. blah blah.

good night

So i got to school on time and ms. farber wasnt there! BEST WAY TO START THE DAY! but then i had a dumbass test that i may have failed. o well, life goes on. After school i went to andrzej's with stewy. it was soooo much fun. we watched pulp fiction,,, or the beginning of it anyway. then blah blah blah work blah blah... then i hear a.. "Linzy rose...." and it was staci and ben!! Other than the fact that i love seeing staci.. it was just a double wahoo to see ben too, I love both of them sooo much.. ADD taking over... will praise talk stuss and ben later.... i love love you all!